Funny story I had to share, can any other women relate?
The other night Tom hugged me and was giving me a bit of a feel up on my butt, as he often does lol. I must have shot a look of disgust his way and he said ‘what???’
I blurted out my ass feels so sloppy after Bali and my 40th birthday month. Tom replied ‘why would you say that, you know that never enters my head, I think you’re always beautiful.’
I instantly realised what I had instinctively said and thought that’s a terrible thing to say to myself. Here is someone who adores me for who I am and I should be grateful that he’s always so affectionate and tells me wonderful things…and I’m worried my ass is sloppy!!!
It was such an aha moment that no matter how happy and confident I feel, I sometimes without even realising, say harsh things to myself.
Then I thought here I am, someone quite self-assured who encourages women to be kind to themselves not practising what I preach.
But why do we as women become so critical of ourselves when we are surrounded by people who love us just the way we are?
I think social media plays a big part. We’re so connected to everyone that we constantly compare and look at what everyone else is doing instead of looking within our own lives and being grateful with what we have.
Sure it’s ok to want to improve areas of our lives, I believe we should be constantly growing and evolving, but not for the wrong reasons. It needs to come from a place of an internal desire, not driven by ego to keep up or compare with others.
It also can come from our self beliefs from our youth or upbringing.
A good friend and psychologist once told me that our brain is hardwired for negative. We have to actually work hard at putting positive thoughts and feelings in.
So here are some suggestions we can practise to help improve our self talk.
Journal
Write what you like about yourself and what you’re grateful for. When you practice gratitude the universe has a way of sending you more in your life to be grateful for.
See the beauty in others
The law of reflection. When you look for beauty all around you, it has a way of reflecting back towards you and you start to see more beauty in yourself. Give a genuine compliment and be the person to lift other women.
Do nice things for YOU
Get a massage or facial, relax, read a book, take time out, buy yourself flowers, get your hair done, go to the beach. It’s ok to take time out to look after yourself and enjoy life.
Make yourself feel good everyday
Whether it be put on a tiny bit of makeup if you like it, wear nice clothes, do your hair. There is no need to let yourself go because you have kids and families you put first. You deserve to feel good too.
Surround yourself with positive people and people who make you feel good
Not to boost your ego, but people who are genuine and care about you and you about them. Real friends love you for who you are and don’t bring you down. You need to be that person for them also, it starts with you.
Prioritise your health
Nourish your body with healthy food and find a form of exercise you enjoy. The more you look after your health, the more your body will reward you with an abundance of energy, clear skin, a fitter healthier body and it just makes you FEEL GREAT!
Be mindful of your self talk
You can’t eliminate it altogether but you can accept your thought, let it go and replace it with something positive, a better feeling thought.
Women we need to focus more on embracing the beauty in ourselves and lifting other women!!!
Ladies I know this feels like an effort, but trust me it’s worth it. It may feel like work initially, but then it becomes a habit you do instinctively.
You’re worth it.
Every woman deserves to feel wonderful in her skin and sometimes we just need a little reminder that it’s ok to look after YOU.
Lisa x